It feels good to write again. I really wish I had more time to, but my schedule really doesn't allow it. And I'm not saying that my schedule doesn't allow it as someone who can sit around and play video games while not "making time" to write. I actually just don't have enough time to write. Ever. The only reason this is even getting done now is because I'd rather do this than go home and deal with my roommate's cat, who seems to think that everything but the scratching post I bought her is actually that scratching post. So here I am.
People who know me know that I (used to) really like working out. I think it's a great way to relieve stress and promotes a ton of self-confidence. In college, I used to work out 4-6 days a week. Now, I am lucky if I get 2 days in, and it's usually the weekends.
The schedule that I am running on right now asks for a minimum of eleven hour days, with thirteen hour days hardly an abnormality. There are many days when I come in an hour before the sun comes up, and leave much after it has gone down. Since coming back in January, my average weekly hours hover around 60. That wouldn't be so bad (well, it might) if I were getting compensated for those hours in overtime or even some sort of baseline salary. However, here I type, working on $0 income this year. I know that a Master's Degree is getting paid for, but I'm not anywhere close to reaping those rewards yet. It's been a bit overwhelming at times.
So, here is what I learned: teaching is hard. I think I've said this before. Actually, I know I have. Sorry for being repetitive. But, it needs to be said. What makes teaching unique is that it isn't hard in the way that you have to adjust to it and then it gets a little easier. If that is the case, I definitely am not anywhere close to reaching it. Teaching is hard in its daily tasks -- creating lessons, calling parents, creating homework, and then all the other things that a job asks you to do. I never imagined teaching would be this demanding. After hearing that my program was experiencing a fair number of dropouts halfway through the first year, one of my co-workers said to me, "Teaching is not a profession for the weak." You really have to be committed to this thing if it's going to work for you. Really, really committed.
I think that these pressures really took their toll on me in the first half of the year, as evidenced by my less-than-cheery end of the year post back in December. Since then, however, things have changed a bit. Admittedly, I hope that things couldn't get too much worse than they were, but still, improvement is improvement. Following the same format of my venting post, here's an update on things that I have been doing in the past month and a half or so.
School
Here's the thing about working in education: nothing is ever going to be perfect. Here's the thing about working in urban education: it is rare that things are ever going to be going well. It's understandable why working in urban education has such a huge burnout rate, with long hours, lower salaries and so on. Now that I have come to grips with that, I am better able to do my job.
When I wrote last, I wasn't happy that I wasn't being given any real responsibility at the school. That has changed massively. I now work by myself with a small group of children, all of whom were failing. I've been having a lot of success with them, as many of them ended up pulling up their grades in the course by the end of the quarter. Behavior is a completely different issue -- many of them think that they don't need the class and would rather be taking history -- but that issue will remain a separate issue because this is a post about positivity. Hooray, passing grades!
I have also been asked to substitute teach on a couple occasions when teachers have been sick, which is a bigger deal than you might think. Again, this means I am in a classroom completely by myself. Also, the classes that I was asked to sub for are some of the poorest scoring (behaviorally and sometimes academically) in the school. So, substitute teaching was ridiculously hard, especially because I didn't know any of them by name. Still, I was asked to do it, which is a big confidence boost for me about what my superiors think I am capable of handling at this point.
DC/Social
I am going to merge these two together since they really are dependent on each other. I realized that a lot of the reasons I initially didn't like DC at first is because of the social life I carried here. It wasn't like Ohio State, where I had a plethora of people that I could turn to when I just wanted to get a little stupid and kick back after a tough day/week/whatever. While DC has not magically transformed into Columbus and probably never will, from a social standpoint, I have begun to appreciate little things about DC more.
While I maintain that DC is overrated as a major city, the fact of the matter is that it is still a major city. That means that there are people in it. This cannot be overstated. I know so many people that work in some city I've never heard of, where (it can be assumed) there are not a large amount of people around to partake in fun stuff with. While there is a ton of room for activities in these areas, there are not any people to share these activities with, which kind of defeats the purpose entirely.
I've done a much better job of getting involved out here. I joined a couple social sports leagues, flag football (big shout out to the Fire Breathing Rubber Duckies) and basketball (more subdued shout out to Free Agent Team A) and have met a lot of really awesome people through these. They've been a blast and I can't recommend social sports leagues enough to people who feel like they don't know enough people in a new city. I also went to sports bars for the teams who hold my sports allegiances, including the Browns and OSU, and had a great time with that as well. While going to a bar completely by myself was admittedly a bit awkward at first and a new experience, I am very happy that I did it and will definitely continue it once football is back in the fall.
An interesting trend I've noticed since stepping out of my comfort zone and going "out there" socially is that I have a lot less animosity towards DC ever since then. What I've realized is that it's not really at all about the city that you're in, so long as the people that you're in it with are people you enjoy being around. No matter where I've been in my life, as long as I'm surrounded by good company I can't complain. So, although these leagues are a bit pricy and I always spend too much money going to the Browns Backers Bar (insert Cleveland drinking joke here), I have every intention of continuing these trends going forward.
Last Words
Wait, that's it?
Who knows, maybe I will look back on my first semester of teaching and realize that it was my version of a quarter-life crisis. My hope now is that it's in the rear view mirror, gone forever in the smoke of bad vibes.
Teaching still is and will remain to be incredibly, incredibly difficult. What will make it enjoyable, though, is how I handle myself when I'm not teaching. This holds true for everything in life, not just teaching. When you're in a bad mental place going into work, you're more likely to stay in that bad place, and it's just a spiral of negativity. What I need to do from here is find a time that is just for me, and guard that time. It is arguably just as important as anything I do in class.
In order for me to give the children I teach the best version of myself as a teacher, I need to give that best version to myself in the form of a positive mental state. Or something like that. I'm not sure. Either way, while things out here are still not ideal, they are getting better. At the end of the day, positive momentum is all you can really ask for.
BD
Monday, February 18, 2013
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Great Thought From Someone Who Is Not Me
I'm not writing today (although I plan on writing again soon), but I wanted to pass along something that I read today anyway. The following excerpt comes from a fellow (more acclaimed) blogger named Dan Meyer, who has been leading nation-wide discussions on education reform, particularly in math classrooms. Dan actually quotes another blogger, Shawn Cornally (INCEPTION!) in a post he made today. As someone who just started out in teaching, I thought it was particularly relevant to what I'm experiencing now and what I am planning on doing with the rest of my life. Dan writes:
Twin Pressures On Good Novice Teachers
February 11th, 2013 by Dan Meyer
Hence, the argument for higher teacher pay: we’ll stay in the classroom longer, rather than jumping ship when our salary schedule is incremented less than inflation (i.e. making less the older I get, like my second year of teaching). In other words, it’s not student achievement you’re directly paying for, it’s avoiding turnover.“Maybe that’s not a bad thing?” you say. “Some of my best teachers were young and excitable.” you opine.
So here's the rock: there are certain teachers who thrill a great deal more to the challenge of good teaching than to any missional obligation to care for children. (See: McMatherson, Mathy; Nowak, Kate; Pershan, Michael.) As teaching gets easier, these teachers are forced to impose tougher and tougher challenges on themselves (because teaching itself doesn't offer that kind of differentiation) just so they can stay interested in the field.
And then there's the hard place: the demands of good teaching, particularly in charter systems, are often unmanageable for anybody but the young, single, and childless — long hours, comparatively low pay, and only a thin veil of separation between you and your work.
Without even glancing at a census table, it's possible for us to see that the rock and the hard place close in on good novice teachers at almost exactly the same time. The job becomes untenable at about the same time that it becomes unchallenging.
If you like Dan's blog (I would highly recommend it to any math teacher), you can read it here.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Winter Break - I Made It!!
Here I sit, at the conclusion of a much needed winter break in beautiful Akron, Ohio. I never really thought I'd miss the cold, snow and pains of a winter in Cleveland, but it's funny how half a year away from your home can do that to you. I had a two week break, and now sit at an airport ready to fly back and start off the second half of the school year tomorrow. I really do hope that things go better in the second half.
Going into teaching, everyone told me that the first year would be hard. I took this advice in stride, but told myself that I would be different. Looking back, I was so naive. I thought teaching would be busy, but not mentally exhausting in the way that it has been so far. The first half of my year in teaching has been so much more than I ever imagined it would be, and I am not even all the way into it yet.
Now that I have half of a year under my belt, I think that I'm ready to go. I have been a bit hardened up with the experience so far, but who wouldn't be? The challenge now will be to find the medium between being a controller and a nurturer, which is much easier said than done (trust me). However, I think I'm in a much better position to do that now than I was at the beginning of the year. With the way my program is set up, I won't have full control of my own classroom until next fall. So, ideally, I will be even more prepared when that comes around. People in my program like to complain a lot about things that could be going better, but I think we often fail to recognize how fortunate we are to be in a position where we can mess up a little bit and not feel the full repercussions. The idea is constant progress (oh hey, Pat Shurmur), and that's something I'm going to be working towards every day until the end of the year in late June.
With all that being said, I know that I wrote a lot of negative things in my last post about the situation that I'm in and how things aren't going well. While some of what I said was true, what's also true is that I need to stop bitching and buckle up. This was never going to be an easy experience in any way, and although things haven't played out like I've expected them to, there's no reason why I should stay unhappy out here.
For the next six months, in addition to becoming a better teacher, I also need to become a better person. That means taking advantage of all the opportunities that I have at my disposal out here in Washington. While I maintain that DC is overrated as a major city and it has not lived up to the lofty expectations I set for it, it is by no means a hell hole. On the contrary, the city has a lot of positives that I just haven't explored yet. One thing the city does offer as a major positive is the fact that it is huge. Although I don't know anyone else here right now, the fact that the city is so big makes it easy for me to join sports leagues or join other groups that share similar interests with me. With that in mind, I have signed up for two "social sports leagues" this winter -- football and basketball. Like any other city, DC is one that you just kind of have to make your own. While I haven't done that yet, my view of this city is much more clear with regard to what I'm getting into. I'm ready to jump into the deep end that is social life, in the water of complete strangers. Here we go.
In my last post I also complained a bit about my school. While I do wish that I had more things to do, I also need to be a bit more introspective and realize that a lack of control was one of the first things I consciously admitted I would probably be frustrated by...in June. As I move into January, I'm really excited to be taking over part of a "results" group and a pull-out math group. For non-education people, what this means is that I will have large control over lessons directed towards children who are really having a tough time. So, what I complained about less than a month ago was already solved. Related: I need to work on my patience. Anyway, working with these groups will allow me to have an incredible opportunity to make such a huge impact here, and I can't wait. Really, it's all I ever wanted all along.
It's also really important just to keep a sense of positivity even on the worst days. Working in a school, as a teacher, is a hard job. Naturally. However, what I need to do a much better job of is realizing how much worse it could be. That just doesn't apply to me, either -- pretty much everyone in my program and even my school needs to do better at this as well. Going off what I wrote in the past, it's kind of a natural tendency of humans to complain about things that aren't going well, as opposed to taking the same energy and breath to recognize what is. While I did vent and complain about things that I wanted to be different, what I have to realize is how much worse off I could have it. I am in an environment that supports its teachers, posts amazing test scores and gives children every opportunity to be successful and pursue their dreams, in a city where an idea like that holds as much life as Pat Shurmur's coaching career in Cleveland (OK, I'll stop). Meanwhile, in so many other schools across DC (which, by the way, has the lowest high school graduation rate in the country) teachers are not supported, there is no structure, and it's chaos. I could just have easily been placed in one of these schools, but instead I ended up at the #1 Public Charter school in the city. I am extremely fortunate to have gotten my winter break to be reflective and realize that, because I was admittedly getting very beaten down towards the end of the first half of the year.
Tl;dr -- This is not a worst-case scenario, by any means. I had a dreamy, blissful image of my time out in DC before I got here, and when it didn't play out like that, I got frustrated and whined. I am so excited for the second half of the year because I know exactly what I'm getting into now. There will definitely be bad days (who would have guessed?) and I'm ready for them. I have an opportunity to stop being a hermit, if I please (and I do) so that will alleviate many of the social/city problems I have here now. And I have an entire half of a year under my belt as a teacher. I made it to winter break. That's not something every first year teacher can say.
This job, and this experience, was and will continue to be very real. That's a statement that I might have uttered at the beginning of the year, but didn't really understand. I know now what this job entails, what I need to accomplish in school and what I need to do out of it in order to become the best person, role model and teacher that I can be. We start classes again tomorrow, and I am being given every opportunity to be successful and happy in the world I live in.
All I can do now is provide the same to these children.
-BD
Going into teaching, everyone told me that the first year would be hard. I took this advice in stride, but told myself that I would be different. Looking back, I was so naive. I thought teaching would be busy, but not mentally exhausting in the way that it has been so far. The first half of my year in teaching has been so much more than I ever imagined it would be, and I am not even all the way into it yet.
Now that I have half of a year under my belt, I think that I'm ready to go. I have been a bit hardened up with the experience so far, but who wouldn't be? The challenge now will be to find the medium between being a controller and a nurturer, which is much easier said than done (trust me). However, I think I'm in a much better position to do that now than I was at the beginning of the year. With the way my program is set up, I won't have full control of my own classroom until next fall. So, ideally, I will be even more prepared when that comes around. People in my program like to complain a lot about things that could be going better, but I think we often fail to recognize how fortunate we are to be in a position where we can mess up a little bit and not feel the full repercussions. The idea is constant progress (oh hey, Pat Shurmur), and that's something I'm going to be working towards every day until the end of the year in late June.
With all that being said, I know that I wrote a lot of negative things in my last post about the situation that I'm in and how things aren't going well. While some of what I said was true, what's also true is that I need to stop bitching and buckle up. This was never going to be an easy experience in any way, and although things haven't played out like I've expected them to, there's no reason why I should stay unhappy out here.
For the next six months, in addition to becoming a better teacher, I also need to become a better person. That means taking advantage of all the opportunities that I have at my disposal out here in Washington. While I maintain that DC is overrated as a major city and it has not lived up to the lofty expectations I set for it, it is by no means a hell hole. On the contrary, the city has a lot of positives that I just haven't explored yet. One thing the city does offer as a major positive is the fact that it is huge. Although I don't know anyone else here right now, the fact that the city is so big makes it easy for me to join sports leagues or join other groups that share similar interests with me. With that in mind, I have signed up for two "social sports leagues" this winter -- football and basketball. Like any other city, DC is one that you just kind of have to make your own. While I haven't done that yet, my view of this city is much more clear with regard to what I'm getting into. I'm ready to jump into the deep end that is social life, in the water of complete strangers. Here we go.
In my last post I also complained a bit about my school. While I do wish that I had more things to do, I also need to be a bit more introspective and realize that a lack of control was one of the first things I consciously admitted I would probably be frustrated by...in June. As I move into January, I'm really excited to be taking over part of a "results" group and a pull-out math group. For non-education people, what this means is that I will have large control over lessons directed towards children who are really having a tough time. So, what I complained about less than a month ago was already solved. Related: I need to work on my patience. Anyway, working with these groups will allow me to have an incredible opportunity to make such a huge impact here, and I can't wait. Really, it's all I ever wanted all along.
It's also really important just to keep a sense of positivity even on the worst days. Working in a school, as a teacher, is a hard job. Naturally. However, what I need to do a much better job of is realizing how much worse it could be. That just doesn't apply to me, either -- pretty much everyone in my program and even my school needs to do better at this as well. Going off what I wrote in the past, it's kind of a natural tendency of humans to complain about things that aren't going well, as opposed to taking the same energy and breath to recognize what is. While I did vent and complain about things that I wanted to be different, what I have to realize is how much worse off I could have it. I am in an environment that supports its teachers, posts amazing test scores and gives children every opportunity to be successful and pursue their dreams, in a city where an idea like that holds as much life as Pat Shurmur's coaching career in Cleveland (OK, I'll stop). Meanwhile, in so many other schools across DC (which, by the way, has the lowest high school graduation rate in the country) teachers are not supported, there is no structure, and it's chaos. I could just have easily been placed in one of these schools, but instead I ended up at the #1 Public Charter school in the city. I am extremely fortunate to have gotten my winter break to be reflective and realize that, because I was admittedly getting very beaten down towards the end of the first half of the year.
Tl;dr -- This is not a worst-case scenario, by any means. I had a dreamy, blissful image of my time out in DC before I got here, and when it didn't play out like that, I got frustrated and whined. I am so excited for the second half of the year because I know exactly what I'm getting into now. There will definitely be bad days (who would have guessed?) and I'm ready for them. I have an opportunity to stop being a hermit, if I please (and I do) so that will alleviate many of the social/city problems I have here now. And I have an entire half of a year under my belt as a teacher. I made it to winter break. That's not something every first year teacher can say.
This job, and this experience, was and will continue to be very real. That's a statement that I might have uttered at the beginning of the year, but didn't really understand. I know now what this job entails, what I need to accomplish in school and what I need to do out of it in order to become the best person, role model and teacher that I can be. We start classes again tomorrow, and I am being given every opportunity to be successful and happy in the world I live in.
All I can do now is provide the same to these children.
-BD
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
I'm Venting.
It's been over a month since I last wrote on here. I know that some of you have been eagerly anticipating my insights into this job, my ray of positivity in an otherwise dimly-lit field and something to make you feel good about as you go on with your day.
I hope that I'll get back to that style of writing soon.
Since I last wrote, a lot has changed. Simply put, things are not going well our here in Washington.
Oh yeah, it's going to be one of those posts. Get out while you can.
I started this blog as a way for me to express my feelings about life, specifically regarding teaching. Today, and over the past couple of weeks, I haven't written a lot because it has been extremely tough out here and I didn't want to bring anyone down with it. However, I need to vent, and I feel like writing, so here it goes.
I will preface this extremely negative post with the following: I have been told multiple times from a variety of sources (all in some way related to education) that November is by far the hardest month for teachers. November has been described as "the terrible month," the time when the new-ness of the school year has worn down, push back from students reaches its peak and exhaustion from the "daily grind" sets in. Mostly, November was a month that we were not supposed to enjoy, but simply navigate our way through. At the beginning of the month, I didn't buy into the hype. Now, I do. November sucks. A lot. However, I feel like a lot of the reasons I'm feeling "blue" are different than the reasons other people in my program are. Listed below are my thoughts and things I just need to get off my chest and onto a computer screen.
My School
Typical urban teacher problems of uncontrolled kids and disorganization at the administrative level are non-existent for me. The school that I'm at is great, on the surface. It posts the best test scores in the city and does a lot of things right. I have not lost sight of those things. However, what it really comes down to is that I wanted to become a teacher to make a difference. Honestly, I don't really feel needed at my school. The school is fine, and is going to be fine with or without me. The role of myself and the other UTC residents at my school is not that of teachers, but instead of interns. While UTC mandates that we were to be teaching full lessons by the end of November, we have not started planning lessons yet. While other UTC residents are doing small-group lessons, pull-outs, parent visits and phone calls home, we are relegated to the occasional introduction to a lesson, grading papers and setting up random events around the school. At other schools around the city, UTC residents are valued for our trained backgrounds, knowledgeable insight and intense preparation and selection to get into the program. I feel like at my school, I am viewed as someone who has no idea what they are doing. I'm not saying that I know it all (not even close), but at the same time I definitely know that I am not someone who can only handle the most mundane of tasks. For not getting paid at all this year, I feel like there are a lot better things I could be doing that would serve as a greater benefit to society. Ultimately, that's what I'm in it for.
I'm 90% sure these feelings will change if I am offered a full-time position at the school next year, but for now, I feel caged (Josh Cribbs reference for you Browns fans - I didn't forget about you). I just want to help. Maybe I am, but I do leave a lot of days feeling frustrated that I can't do more.
In addition to this, the kids are so disrespectful here. So disrespectful. This isn't directly applied to my school, but across all the schools we are working at as a program. I would think that they would have some sort of knowledge that in as little as ten years ago, NO ONE willingly came to these schools. No one. The fact that people are eager to come in and help, to turn it around, and to give them something better than what they have grown up with would seem to be a natural point of respect and humility. Nope. There is such little respect for teachers that I am not surprised that there is such high burnout among teachers in these areas. A lot of teachers here work so hard to do what we came here to do, working longer hours and doing more than you would in schools that are better off - which is fine. That is what we signed up for. What makes it harder is that constant push back to what we try to do to help. A couple days to figure out what you can get from a teacher is natural - I did it, you did it, and everyone in every school does it. But this push back has been going on for months - literally the entire school year up to this point. It's exhausting.
My City
DC sucks. I have never been in a more overrated city in my entire life. Furthermore, I have not spent an extended amount of time (read: more than one day) in a city that I disliked so much. Everyone says, "oh yeah, DC is great, it's so much fun there!" No, it's not. Do not move to DC. The entire city is essentially a power struggle, with people looking to move their way up. In that way, I guess DC would be cool if you had the money for it to be cool. But it's not a city like Chicago or New York, or even Columbus, where you can simply enjoy being in the city without doing anything in the city. If you're not in the know, you're not worth knowing. Everything is extremely expensive - DC has the second highest standard of living in the country outside of Manhattan - but for what? A couple monuments? The opportunity to brush shoulders with some sketchy politician who has spent their whole lives kissing other people's asses to move up the ladder? No, it's for the opportunity to say that you did it and feel a little better about yourself when the guy next to you says he rents out his shitty apartment for only $2,000/month as opposed to $3,000. Haha, he's so poor! The people here are not genuine or even nice, the "social" areas aren't anything special, and there is no sense of identity to the city. Here's a fun fact about DC: NO ONE IS ACTUALLY FROM HERE. Think about it: when's the last time you ever heard someone say, "I'm so proud to be from DC." What other major city in the world does not have an identity? People are not from here, but they come here to make money for 2-4 years, and then they get out, never looking back. This city is not a home, it's a resting place.
Also, I miss buildings. Skylines are awesome. DC has some dumb law saying buildings can't be over a certain height in the city - maybe around 10 stories - because it's a security risk. Yeah, DC, you're so much more important than every other major city in the US that your buildings can't be tall. Why not apply this law to every other US city? Are you really just that concerned about yourself, DC? "Screw you guys, you can be at risk - but we're cool! Now I'm going to sip a $8,000 bottle of champagne while renting out my $4,000/month apartment, just because I can. DC!"
I keep waiting for DC to pop out at me, and to have a moment of realization where I can say, "Oh yeah, THIS is why people love DC." However, I'm pretty sure I've seen it all. I've gone to the museums, monuments, social areas and done everything that is "authentic" to DC. As I do more and more of these things, I'm pretty sure that my feelings about this place aren't going to change. Even better news: I'm going to be here until I'm 26!
My Social Life
I don't know anyone here. I'd say there only a handful of people in DC that I genuinely care about, and only a few I would enjoy having a beer with. I was kind of banking on this program that I'm in to lead me towards expanding my social base, but that hasn't really worked out for me at all. I will say, though, that I need to take it upon myself to be more proactive about being social. It's obvious at this point that friends are not going to fall into my lap out here, so it's up to me at this point if I'm going to stay miserable and lonely in the big city or make some changes. Recently, I have taken to the inter-webs and used social networks like MeetUp and Reddit to try to branch out. The results of these efforts is unclear at this point. What is clear, though, is that I currently don't have an outlet from teaching. One of the best things about college for me was that no matter how bad my day was, I got incredibly lucky to have roommates that I could go home to and just be dumb with - watching awful Netflix movies, playing video games, drinking, etc. We all left our schoolwork in the classroom/library and that was that. Here, that is not the case. I am literally surrounded by people in the field of education wherever I go. I need to find a way to change that, because it's suffocating. Work is taking over my life, and that can't happen to anyone who attempts to maintain a sense of sanity (in my opinion).
Miscellaneous
All the things I have written about before this post come in conjunction to the fact that my dad died earlier this year. Everything I mentioned above, compounded with the death of your surest sense of stability, biggest role model and one of your closest friends completely disappears from your life unexpectedly is not a good combination. If dealing with my dad dying wasn't hard enough on its own (it is), I'm not happy with anything else going on in my life.
In addition to all of this, I am going through many of the traditional troubles of a recent college grad, including being seriously apart from my family for the first time. While in Columbus, I was only 2 hours away - a very do-able commute. Now, at six hours away, visits home are much more difficult to have. I'm also away from a place where I had a surplus of friends and fun at Ohio State, which I took for granted for four years. It's also the place where I have felt most comfortable with everything surrounding me in my entire life. It was there one day, and gone the next, replaced with DC and everything that comes along with it.
Last Words
So, what it all comes down to is that I'm pretty much living in a worst-case scenario. That is absolutely excessively dramatic and hyperbolic, but I don't care, it's how I feel at this present moment.
Stepping away from that, I do know there are a lot of things that I have going for me - I have a job, I have family, and I have friends, even if they aren't geographically close to me. I also have an education food, shelter, and a place to let my feelings to be heard (you guys). That's a lot. However, I did not anticipate so many things going wrong when I came out here, and that is so frustrating. As I said before, the ball is now in my court. I have to decide whether or not I'm going to continue to be miserable or do something about it. There's a lot that has to change, and there's a lot that will need to change. Hopefully, this change comes sooner rather than later.
I will also say that this post is in no way an indication that I am close to quitting my job out here. Am I not as happy as I was at OSU? Absolutely. Am I extremely frustrated with how this portion of my life has started out? Yes, very. However, I refuse to let myself quit half-way through a year, or 1/8 of the way through the program that I committed to. I owe it to myself, my family, and everyone that believed in me and supported me through everything I have gone through to get to the spot I am in now to stick this thing out. Most importantly, I owe it to these kids to give them a sense of stability and someone that refuses to quit on them, no matter how bad it is.
I guess this is what a quarter-life crisis feels like. Or maybe not. I'm not sure. Either way, things aren't going according to plan, and that's bad. If you've made it this far, I've probably put a damper on your day, so I'd like to apologize for that. It was just something I had to get out, and I do feel better about it already even if my situation hasn't changed.
Hopefully, you won't be seeing a post like this from me again any time soon, or at all, as long as I keep this thing up. Here's to hoping the good vibes make their return soon.
BD
I hope that I'll get back to that style of writing soon.
Since I last wrote, a lot has changed. Simply put, things are not going well our here in Washington.
Oh yeah, it's going to be one of those posts. Get out while you can.
I started this blog as a way for me to express my feelings about life, specifically regarding teaching. Today, and over the past couple of weeks, I haven't written a lot because it has been extremely tough out here and I didn't want to bring anyone down with it. However, I need to vent, and I feel like writing, so here it goes.
I will preface this extremely negative post with the following: I have been told multiple times from a variety of sources (all in some way related to education) that November is by far the hardest month for teachers. November has been described as "the terrible month," the time when the new-ness of the school year has worn down, push back from students reaches its peak and exhaustion from the "daily grind" sets in. Mostly, November was a month that we were not supposed to enjoy, but simply navigate our way through. At the beginning of the month, I didn't buy into the hype. Now, I do. November sucks. A lot. However, I feel like a lot of the reasons I'm feeling "blue" are different than the reasons other people in my program are. Listed below are my thoughts and things I just need to get off my chest and onto a computer screen.
My School
Typical urban teacher problems of uncontrolled kids and disorganization at the administrative level are non-existent for me. The school that I'm at is great, on the surface. It posts the best test scores in the city and does a lot of things right. I have not lost sight of those things. However, what it really comes down to is that I wanted to become a teacher to make a difference. Honestly, I don't really feel needed at my school. The school is fine, and is going to be fine with or without me. The role of myself and the other UTC residents at my school is not that of teachers, but instead of interns. While UTC mandates that we were to be teaching full lessons by the end of November, we have not started planning lessons yet. While other UTC residents are doing small-group lessons, pull-outs, parent visits and phone calls home, we are relegated to the occasional introduction to a lesson, grading papers and setting up random events around the school. At other schools around the city, UTC residents are valued for our trained backgrounds, knowledgeable insight and intense preparation and selection to get into the program. I feel like at my school, I am viewed as someone who has no idea what they are doing. I'm not saying that I know it all (not even close), but at the same time I definitely know that I am not someone who can only handle the most mundane of tasks. For not getting paid at all this year, I feel like there are a lot better things I could be doing that would serve as a greater benefit to society. Ultimately, that's what I'm in it for.
I'm 90% sure these feelings will change if I am offered a full-time position at the school next year, but for now, I feel caged (Josh Cribbs reference for you Browns fans - I didn't forget about you). I just want to help. Maybe I am, but I do leave a lot of days feeling frustrated that I can't do more.
In addition to this, the kids are so disrespectful here. So disrespectful. This isn't directly applied to my school, but across all the schools we are working at as a program. I would think that they would have some sort of knowledge that in as little as ten years ago, NO ONE willingly came to these schools. No one. The fact that people are eager to come in and help, to turn it around, and to give them something better than what they have grown up with would seem to be a natural point of respect and humility. Nope. There is such little respect for teachers that I am not surprised that there is such high burnout among teachers in these areas. A lot of teachers here work so hard to do what we came here to do, working longer hours and doing more than you would in schools that are better off - which is fine. That is what we signed up for. What makes it harder is that constant push back to what we try to do to help. A couple days to figure out what you can get from a teacher is natural - I did it, you did it, and everyone in every school does it. But this push back has been going on for months - literally the entire school year up to this point. It's exhausting.
My City
DC sucks. I have never been in a more overrated city in my entire life. Furthermore, I have not spent an extended amount of time (read: more than one day) in a city that I disliked so much. Everyone says, "oh yeah, DC is great, it's so much fun there!" No, it's not. Do not move to DC. The entire city is essentially a power struggle, with people looking to move their way up. In that way, I guess DC would be cool if you had the money for it to be cool. But it's not a city like Chicago or New York, or even Columbus, where you can simply enjoy being in the city without doing anything in the city. If you're not in the know, you're not worth knowing. Everything is extremely expensive - DC has the second highest standard of living in the country outside of Manhattan - but for what? A couple monuments? The opportunity to brush shoulders with some sketchy politician who has spent their whole lives kissing other people's asses to move up the ladder? No, it's for the opportunity to say that you did it and feel a little better about yourself when the guy next to you says he rents out his shitty apartment for only $2,000/month as opposed to $3,000. Haha, he's so poor! The people here are not genuine or even nice, the "social" areas aren't anything special, and there is no sense of identity to the city. Here's a fun fact about DC: NO ONE IS ACTUALLY FROM HERE. Think about it: when's the last time you ever heard someone say, "I'm so proud to be from DC." What other major city in the world does not have an identity? People are not from here, but they come here to make money for 2-4 years, and then they get out, never looking back. This city is not a home, it's a resting place.
Also, I miss buildings. Skylines are awesome. DC has some dumb law saying buildings can't be over a certain height in the city - maybe around 10 stories - because it's a security risk. Yeah, DC, you're so much more important than every other major city in the US that your buildings can't be tall. Why not apply this law to every other US city? Are you really just that concerned about yourself, DC? "Screw you guys, you can be at risk - but we're cool! Now I'm going to sip a $8,000 bottle of champagne while renting out my $4,000/month apartment, just because I can. DC!"
I keep waiting for DC to pop out at me, and to have a moment of realization where I can say, "Oh yeah, THIS is why people love DC." However, I'm pretty sure I've seen it all. I've gone to the museums, monuments, social areas and done everything that is "authentic" to DC. As I do more and more of these things, I'm pretty sure that my feelings about this place aren't going to change. Even better news: I'm going to be here until I'm 26!
My Social Life
I don't know anyone here. I'd say there only a handful of people in DC that I genuinely care about, and only a few I would enjoy having a beer with. I was kind of banking on this program that I'm in to lead me towards expanding my social base, but that hasn't really worked out for me at all. I will say, though, that I need to take it upon myself to be more proactive about being social. It's obvious at this point that friends are not going to fall into my lap out here, so it's up to me at this point if I'm going to stay miserable and lonely in the big city or make some changes. Recently, I have taken to the inter-webs and used social networks like MeetUp and Reddit to try to branch out. The results of these efforts is unclear at this point. What is clear, though, is that I currently don't have an outlet from teaching. One of the best things about college for me was that no matter how bad my day was, I got incredibly lucky to have roommates that I could go home to and just be dumb with - watching awful Netflix movies, playing video games, drinking, etc. We all left our schoolwork in the classroom/library and that was that. Here, that is not the case. I am literally surrounded by people in the field of education wherever I go. I need to find a way to change that, because it's suffocating. Work is taking over my life, and that can't happen to anyone who attempts to maintain a sense of sanity (in my opinion).
Miscellaneous
All the things I have written about before this post come in conjunction to the fact that my dad died earlier this year. Everything I mentioned above, compounded with the death of your surest sense of stability, biggest role model and one of your closest friends completely disappears from your life unexpectedly is not a good combination. If dealing with my dad dying wasn't hard enough on its own (it is), I'm not happy with anything else going on in my life.
In addition to all of this, I am going through many of the traditional troubles of a recent college grad, including being seriously apart from my family for the first time. While in Columbus, I was only 2 hours away - a very do-able commute. Now, at six hours away, visits home are much more difficult to have. I'm also away from a place where I had a surplus of friends and fun at Ohio State, which I took for granted for four years. It's also the place where I have felt most comfortable with everything surrounding me in my entire life. It was there one day, and gone the next, replaced with DC and everything that comes along with it.
Last Words
So, what it all comes down to is that I'm pretty much living in a worst-case scenario. That is absolutely excessively dramatic and hyperbolic, but I don't care, it's how I feel at this present moment.
Stepping away from that, I do know there are a lot of things that I have going for me - I have a job, I have family, and I have friends, even if they aren't geographically close to me. I also have an education food, shelter, and a place to let my feelings to be heard (you guys). That's a lot. However, I did not anticipate so many things going wrong when I came out here, and that is so frustrating. As I said before, the ball is now in my court. I have to decide whether or not I'm going to continue to be miserable or do something about it. There's a lot that has to change, and there's a lot that will need to change. Hopefully, this change comes sooner rather than later.
I will also say that this post is in no way an indication that I am close to quitting my job out here. Am I not as happy as I was at OSU? Absolutely. Am I extremely frustrated with how this portion of my life has started out? Yes, very. However, I refuse to let myself quit half-way through a year, or 1/8 of the way through the program that I committed to. I owe it to myself, my family, and everyone that believed in me and supported me through everything I have gone through to get to the spot I am in now to stick this thing out. Most importantly, I owe it to these kids to give them a sense of stability and someone that refuses to quit on them, no matter how bad it is.
I guess this is what a quarter-life crisis feels like. Or maybe not. I'm not sure. Either way, things aren't going according to plan, and that's bad. If you've made it this far, I've probably put a damper on your day, so I'd like to apologize for that. It was just something I had to get out, and I do feel better about it already even if my situation hasn't changed.
Hopefully, you won't be seeing a post like this from me again any time soon, or at all, as long as I keep this thing up. Here's to hoping the good vibes make their return soon.
BD
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Shout It Out
Now to something you've heard many times before and probably will hear many times again, especially if you choose to keep reading this blog...
Teaching is hard. Truly, authentically hard.
I don't say that so much just because I like to complain.1 I keep saying it to provide a consistent statement of this job. It doesn't get hard for a couple days and then go away. It is hard, always. Sure, there are definitely better days than others. But still, on those days, you are jam packed with things to do. Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way -- I am the type of person who would much rather be busy than bored -- but I guess that's for another blog post. With all this being said, there's a point when teaching stops becoming busy and starts becoming overwhelming.
As I've spoken to before, there are a lot of schools out there that are aware of this fact but don't really do anything about it. I think this is a big reason why a lot of teachers hate their job. They work really hard, get everything right on paper, and are ready to go. But when it comes to execution time, things don't always go according to plan2, and stress comes. Stress is a part of any job, but when it comes to teaching, it's important to manage and deal with that stress immediately, because if you don't, then you go in front of a class of little people without your mind right. Eventually, stress builds up to the point where you hear the teaching horror stories3 that dip into bitching, quitting, and even more serious cases of clinical depression and/or alcoholism. It's real, it's happened, and it will happen again.
So the question becomes, how do we prevent this? How can we turn teaching into something desirable even in the times that it becomes ridiculously hard? How can we turn from those teaching horror stories to the teaching stories that made me get into this profession, where one is able to do this incredibly trying job with ease and a smile, and where we can leave a lasting impact on children for decades and ultimately, have a direct voice in how they live the rest of their lives?
Something that my good buddy Zach Boerger4 wrote5 recently about the idea that we need to be more conscious about telling people the things we like about what they do, and not to only focus on the negative things that occur. We all fall into the trap: when things are going well, we generally don't say much, because we expect it to go well. However, when things start going in a way we don't like, that's when we make sure our voice is heard. It plays into the "squeaky wheel gets the grease" mentality. The squeaky wheel needs the grease, but the wheels who aren't squeaking sure would like to hear about how well they are doing (assuming wheels have personalities and feelings, which we will for the sake of my argument).
Teaching is the same way. Once the excitement from getting all our new little humans in the beginning of the year has died down, the realities of the job set in. No job is perfect, and teaching is not an exception. In order to not get bogged down by the pressures that this job, and any job really, creates is to make sure the adults are looking out for each other. This comes in the form of shout-outs, which we do every Wednesday at school.
Backdrop: Our school is open 7-4 every day except Wednesday, when we go 7-1:30 and then all staff stays for professional development until 5.
Before our PD starts, everyone gathers in the teacher lounge and we sing our "shout-out" song and we read off 10-15 shout-outs. Shout-outs are written throughout the week and are but in the "shout-out box," from which they are pulled and read on Wednesdays. You can tell that everyone really appreciates these, as they are proudly displayed at all of the teacher's desks. Teachers who receive a shout-out are also given a small prize when their shout-out is read, and the rest of shout-outs that are not chosen are dispersed throughout PD. Having received one or two in my time here, I can say that giving and receiving shout-outs is something I am a huge fan of and will take with me (in one form or another) wherever I go from here in my life.
Shout-outs can be given for literally anything, as long as it made some sort of positive contribution to someone or something at the school. For example: cover someone's hallway shift? Bounce back after a really tough week, or just simply keep showing up even though nothing seems to be going right for you? You got a shout-out! Simply be consistently awesome? You got a shout-out!
Side note: For some reason, this is the one thing I could think of while writing that last paragraph...
It's easy! Watch.
Shout out to this polar bear for its phenomenal dance moves.
Now, I feel better and I'm sure if the polar bear had feelings it would feel better too. But even though it will never get my message, I feel better for sending all that good energy its way. And now I might keep sending it to everyone and everything around me.
As Zach, a member of the start-up community and co-founder of his awesome pre-release product news site Launchgram wrote, "Startups (hell, life in general) are hard, and a little praise when its deserved could go a long way towards helping someone succeed." Teaching is no different. Everyday life is no different. I would like to challenge everyone reading this to make shout-outs a personal habit of yours going forward. Even if it only starts at one per week, make a conscious effort to let other people know that you appreciate them.
When in doubt, shout it out. I have, and it feels fantastic.
--BD
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
1 Unless we are talking about the Browns. Or Cleveland sports in general, I guess.↩ 2 Insight you won't get anywhere else!↩ 3 Happy Halloween!↩ 4 Hey man.↩ 5 Link to his entire (short and awesome) blog post can be found here.↩
Teaching is hard. Truly, authentically hard.
I don't say that so much just because I like to complain.1 I keep saying it to provide a consistent statement of this job. It doesn't get hard for a couple days and then go away. It is hard, always. Sure, there are definitely better days than others. But still, on those days, you are jam packed with things to do. Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way -- I am the type of person who would much rather be busy than bored -- but I guess that's for another blog post. With all this being said, there's a point when teaching stops becoming busy and starts becoming overwhelming.
As I've spoken to before, there are a lot of schools out there that are aware of this fact but don't really do anything about it. I think this is a big reason why a lot of teachers hate their job. They work really hard, get everything right on paper, and are ready to go. But when it comes to execution time, things don't always go according to plan2, and stress comes. Stress is a part of any job, but when it comes to teaching, it's important to manage and deal with that stress immediately, because if you don't, then you go in front of a class of little people without your mind right. Eventually, stress builds up to the point where you hear the teaching horror stories3 that dip into bitching, quitting, and even more serious cases of clinical depression and/or alcoholism. It's real, it's happened, and it will happen again.
So the question becomes, how do we prevent this? How can we turn teaching into something desirable even in the times that it becomes ridiculously hard? How can we turn from those teaching horror stories to the teaching stories that made me get into this profession, where one is able to do this incredibly trying job with ease and a smile, and where we can leave a lasting impact on children for decades and ultimately, have a direct voice in how they live the rest of their lives?
Something that my good buddy Zach Boerger4 wrote5 recently about the idea that we need to be more conscious about telling people the things we like about what they do, and not to only focus on the negative things that occur. We all fall into the trap: when things are going well, we generally don't say much, because we expect it to go well. However, when things start going in a way we don't like, that's when we make sure our voice is heard. It plays into the "squeaky wheel gets the grease" mentality. The squeaky wheel needs the grease, but the wheels who aren't squeaking sure would like to hear about how well they are doing (assuming wheels have personalities and feelings, which we will for the sake of my argument).
Teaching is the same way. Once the excitement from getting all our new little humans in the beginning of the year has died down, the realities of the job set in. No job is perfect, and teaching is not an exception. In order to not get bogged down by the pressures that this job, and any job really, creates is to make sure the adults are looking out for each other. This comes in the form of shout-outs, which we do every Wednesday at school.
Backdrop: Our school is open 7-4 every day except Wednesday, when we go 7-1:30 and then all staff stays for professional development until 5.
Before our PD starts, everyone gathers in the teacher lounge and we sing our "shout-out" song and we read off 10-15 shout-outs. Shout-outs are written throughout the week and are but in the "shout-out box," from which they are pulled and read on Wednesdays. You can tell that everyone really appreciates these, as they are proudly displayed at all of the teacher's desks. Teachers who receive a shout-out are also given a small prize when their shout-out is read, and the rest of shout-outs that are not chosen are dispersed throughout PD. Having received one or two in my time here, I can say that giving and receiving shout-outs is something I am a huge fan of and will take with me (in one form or another) wherever I go from here in my life.
Shout-outs can be given for literally anything, as long as it made some sort of positive contribution to someone or something at the school. For example: cover someone's hallway shift? Bounce back after a really tough week, or just simply keep showing up even though nothing seems to be going right for you? You got a shout-out! Simply be consistently awesome? You got a shout-out!
Side note: For some reason, this is the one thing I could think of while writing that last paragraph...
It's easy! Watch.
Shout out to this polar bear for its phenomenal dance moves.
As Zach, a member of the start-up community and co-founder of his awesome pre-release product news site Launchgram wrote, "Startups (hell, life in general) are hard, and a little praise when its deserved could go a long way towards helping someone succeed." Teaching is no different. Everyday life is no different. I would like to challenge everyone reading this to make shout-outs a personal habit of yours going forward. Even if it only starts at one per week, make a conscious effort to let other people know that you appreciate them.
When in doubt, shout it out. I have, and it feels fantastic.
--BD
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
1 Unless we are talking about the Browns. Or Cleveland sports in general, I guess.↩ 2 Insight you won't get anywhere else!↩ 3 Happy Halloween!↩ 4 Hey man.↩ 5 Link to his entire (short and awesome) blog post can be found here.↩
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Carnival Bears
Part of what we do as "residents" at UTC is take classes. The math classes we are taking right now are, in a word, awesome. We are totally re-thinking math, what it is and how we teach it. I posted a little about this in the summer, but it has taken me personally from a stance of thinking math is a "plug and chug" subject to realizing it's more about logic, problem-solving and finding a short-cut. I'm kind of mad that I never experienced math this way before, and it makes a lot more sense to me now why I hated it for so long growing up (even though I was pretty good at it).
In summary, Math is really cool, and I'm really, really lucky to be in a position to teach other people about how cool it is.
Related: I've never felt like more of a nerd.
To give an idea about exactly how we approach math, I'm going to put a problem below. The problem isn't easy, but it's simple. The idea is you want to embrace the struggle that comes along with solving the problem. Once you break through, you have a "mathgasm," as some of the less mature members of our cohort like to call it.1
Here's the problem. It's pretty standard but I really enjoyed it, and I think you will too. It took a group of 5 of us about 15 minutes to solve it completely, so feel free to kick our butts and then brag about it in the comments. All you need are 7 post it notes to denote equal space, 3 items that are exactly the same (pencils, plastic bears, moldy foods left in the refrigertar, etc.) and then 3 other items that are exactly the same but are NOT the items from the first group. So, a perfect example would be the post-its, 3 pencils and 3 paper clips. However, if you have access to bears or something more concrete, that makes it more fun. Maybe it's time to dust off those old Beanie Babies.2
Also, do this with other people. Good, old-fashioned, fun for the whole family!!3
Anyway, here's the problem:
Can
you get the bears to switch places?
BEFORE YOU START: Set up a table. Three columns. Column #1 = number of bears per side. Column #2 = jumps. Column #3 = "slides." Column #4 = total moves. You should be able to pick up a pattern after the second or third run through. If you can't figure out the first round, definitely start with 1 bear per side, then 2 bears per side, etc. until you are comfortable enough and find a pattern that solves for every number of bears per side.
Once you solve that part...
How many jumps and slides would it take for 5 bears on each side?
Next...
How many jumps and slides would it take for 10 bears on each side?
We would typically give our kids 30-35 minutes to solve. This is a grade 6-8 math problem, and doesn't really rely on any mathematical prowess at all until you get to the short-cut part, which makes the problem easier.
Guess what - that's math! Math makes things easier. Who knew.
Time to see if you're smarter than a seventh grader.
Enjoy.
-BD
-------------------------------------------------------------------
1 OK, maybe it's just me. I don't want to hear it. ↩ 2 I always knew they'd be good for something.↩ 3 I think I've turned a corner. Is this what a quarter-life crisis feels like?↩
In summary, Math is really cool, and I'm really, really lucky to be in a position to teach other people about how cool it is.
Related: I've never felt like more of a nerd.
To give an idea about exactly how we approach math, I'm going to put a problem below. The problem isn't easy, but it's simple. The idea is you want to embrace the struggle that comes along with solving the problem. Once you break through, you have a "mathgasm," as some of the less mature members of our cohort like to call it.1
Here's the problem. It's pretty standard but I really enjoyed it, and I think you will too. It took a group of 5 of us about 15 minutes to solve it completely, so feel free to kick our butts and then brag about it in the comments. All you need are 7 post it notes to denote equal space, 3 items that are exactly the same (pencils, plastic bears, moldy foods left in the refrigertar, etc.) and then 3 other items that are exactly the same but are NOT the items from the first group. So, a perfect example would be the post-its, 3 pencils and 3 paper clips. However, if you have access to bears or something more concrete, that makes it more fun. Maybe it's time to dust off those old Beanie Babies.2
Also, do this with other people. Good, old-fashioned, fun for the whole family!!3
Anyway, here's the problem:
Connie, Jeff, and Kareem saw bears do tricks. At the
beginning of the trick, three black bears were on the left side of a long mat
divided into seven squares, and three brown bears were on the right side. Each
bear had its own square with an empty square in the middle. The bears could
only do two different types of moves:
1.They could slide
onto the next square if it was empty.
2.If the next square
was not empty, they could jump over one other bear to an
empty square. The black bears only moved from left to right, and the
brown bears only moved from right to left. When the trick was over, the bears
had switched places. All the black bears
were on the right side, and all the brown bears were on the left.
BEFORE YOU START: Set up a table. Three columns. Column #1 = number of bears per side. Column #2 = jumps. Column #3 = "slides." Column #4 = total moves. You should be able to pick up a pattern after the second or third run through. If you can't figure out the first round, definitely start with 1 bear per side, then 2 bears per side, etc. until you are comfortable enough and find a pattern that solves for every number of bears per side.
Once you solve that part...
How many jumps and slides would it take for 5 bears on each side?
Next...
How many jumps and slides would it take for 10 bears on each side?
We would typically give our kids 30-35 minutes to solve. This is a grade 6-8 math problem, and doesn't really rely on any mathematical prowess at all until you get to the short-cut part, which makes the problem easier.
Guess what - that's math! Math makes things easier. Who knew.
Time to see if you're smarter than a seventh grader.
Enjoy.
-BD
-------------------------------------------------------------------
1 OK, maybe it's just me. I don't want to hear it. ↩ 2 I always knew they'd be good for something.↩ 3 I think I've turned a corner. Is this what a quarter-life crisis feels like?↩
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
The Power of Positivity
Teaching is kind of a funny profession. There are so many kids out there that need a quality education, because after all, what is the future of our country without well-informed, active citizens? However, this requires a special type of person to lead them that way. Unfortunately, there simply are not enough great teachers out there. So the question is -- why?
Apart from all the things that you probably think I'm going to say (long hours, low pay, etc.) I think that at its core, there aren't enough great teachers because new teachers get overwhelmed. A lot of the time, new teachers can only get jobs in the worst schools because these teachers are seen as unorganized, inexperienced and naive regarding their profession. What happens is these teachers have a terrible experience teaching, with all the things that make bad schools into what they are -- bad leadership, no community, low test scores, behavior problems, and so on. What happens next is predictable: teachers hate the kids, their job, the administration, and then they quit. And a new teacher is hired in their place. And most likely, the same thing happens all over again. This, in a nutshell, is how the Achievement Gap was formed and is sustained, from my very limited vantage point on it.
One of the things that I have realized recently is that when dealing with "children who we love the most" (read: the brats) positivity can go a long way. Take for example, a scholar at APA who I'm going to call Trent, for no other reason than I'm excited about how the new Cleveland Browns' running back Trent Richardson has looked this year. OK, maybe he's on an 0-4 team but he has run with passion, strength and quickness on that team and is a source of hope, which the Browns haven't had in a long time. Yes, I'm excited about an 0-4 football team. No, I don't want to talk about it.
Anyway, Trent has a lot going on at home. He is dealing with a mother who has recently fallen ill, and it has had clear effects on how he acts in school. Every day for the first month or so, Trent has come in without any sort of regard for respect of adults. He doesn't respond well to an adult presence at all, and is easily irritated when an adult even will try to help him with schoolwork. Needless to say, re-directions and consequences are a mess. Trent often "blows up" in class, despite many discussions between Trent and his teachers about what he could do differently and how to keep small issues small issues instead of turning them into big issues. This issue is compounded by a lack of adult presence at home, that we know of. Phone calls home are unanswered so we don't even know if an adult is aware of what's going on at school.
This is a situation that would drive many first-year teachers crazy. Hell, it would throw a lot of 20 year vets crazy. It's almost a nightmare situation, although Trent doesn't yell out frequently in class. It could be worse. But still, it's not good. For the first month, Trent has always been on my mind, and I've tried to find ways to help. Still, it's so frustrating to just want to help and being pushed away, especially with everything that is on the line in these schools.1
Something new that my host teacher and I have introduced into class within the past week is something called "Homework Heroes." Every day, we go through homework and pick out what we think is the "best" one. This is really just a judgement call, in which we look for professionalism, full and complete work, and clear, correct answers. There are two Homework Heroes per class, and if you are selected as a Homework Hero, you get to wear one of these AWESOME FoamHeads from my host teacher and my respective universities (Ohio State and University of Minnesota) for the rest of class.
After about a month of pure frustration, I could tell that Trent was getting the better of me. He was changing my mood every day when I came in, and I was constantly watching him in class to monitor behavior as opposed to teaching. I realized that this was not going to fly, so I tried something different. I tried to kill Trent with kindness.
Something new that my host teacher and I have introduced into class within the past week is something called "Homework Heroes." Every day, we go through homework and pick out what we think is the "best" one. This is really just a judgement call, in which we look for professionalism, full and complete work, and clear, correct answers. There are two Homework Heroes per class, and if you are selected as a Homework Hero, you get to wear one of these AWESOME FoamHeads from my host teacher and my respective universities (Ohio State and University of Minnesota) for the rest of class.
Yes, they definitely are that cool.2
Believe it or not, this has actually been a huge source of inspiration to do homework for our scholars. Since we've introduced Homework Heroes, we have seen a lot more buy-in to homework, which is awesome.
When picking our third set of Homework Heroes, I decided to give the Ohio State FoamHead to Trent, who had won the hat deservingly, doing all the things we would want our scholars to do on their homework. Now, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nearly pissing myself as I went over to hand Trent his FoamHead. There were a variety of things that could have happened here. Trent could have thrown the hat, spit in it, or even simply mocked it, which could have ruined all the momentum we had built in establishing these hats as desirable.
As we called our the day's HHs, there was a confused murmur among everyone in the class when I called Trent's name. I don't think anyone saw it coming. As I went over to hand Trent the hat, I saw something I hadn't all year: a smile. Trent was so excited that someone had finally focused on something positive that he had done -- or at least this is what I'm telling myself. Either way, Trent did not show ANY negative behavior for that class, stayed on task, and had one of his best classes of the year to that point. Even after class, he asked me questions about the hat, what it was and why I loved Ohio State so much. I think I might have even recruited a little bit for OSU that day, even if it was by accident.3
So many times, "problem students" are only shown negativity and re-direction from teachers, which ultimately hurts everyone and benefits no one. I think that it's so important to show scholars that you pay attention to everything they do -- not just the negative. Showing a scholar that you appreciate the things that they do well can make all the difference in determining your experience as a teacher. Notice that you have to SHOW a scholar that you appreciate them, not tell them. These are two very different things. Just something to think about.
Although Trent's behavior has started to slip a bit since the middle of last week, I now know one strategy that I can try to correct poor behavior that has worked before. It is certainly not the only way to do things, and it definitely won't work with every tough situation, but it worked for this one and it will probably work for others too. That's a minor victory that's good enough for me to keep going.
Good vibes, y'all. Keep 'em coming.
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FOOTNOTES!
1 ↩See previous post.
2 ↩Side note: Is a Gopher the same thing as a squirrel? I thought they looked more like Prairie Dogs? This has been bothering me way too much every time I look at that maroon and gold mess of a mascot.
3 ↩Hey E. Gordon, let's talk commission....
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FOOTNOTES!
1 ↩See previous post.
2 ↩Side note: Is a Gopher the same thing as a squirrel? I thought they looked more like Prairie Dogs? This has been bothering me way too much every time I look at that maroon and gold mess of a mascot.
3 ↩Hey E. Gordon, let's talk commission....
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